February 16 - The NBA is on a break, the NFL is finished, so what's left to bet on? Well how about a wager on the latest media frenzy: the Anna Nicole Smith love-child paternity suit lottery? While the world is still reeling over her recent demise some online sportsbooks like Bodog.com are offering odds on who fathered the baby girl of the American people's princess.
There are more runners in this race than the presidential primaries, and what they're battling for could be even more valuable in terms of cash and public recognition.
The latest betting reflects the wide-open nature of both the contest and the deceased.
Anna Nicole Smith had many many "suitors", to use a polite term, and they're all crawling and oozing out of the woodwork claiming that they are the one true baby-daddy; a term at once so bracingly modern and purely American that one can only embrace it with the same affection that the media feels for posthumous talentless starlets.
But back to the latest odds, which reveal that Larry Birkhead is the prohibitive betting favorite. He's 1/7 at many online sportsbooks, although we heard a rumor that you could still get 1/2 at one or two offshore locales. It's a slap in the face for the supposed partner of Anna Nicole, Howard Stern.
Howard K, so named so as to avoid confusion with shock-jock Howard Stern, who would doubtless prefer to remain above all this (another indication of how classless the affair truly is), is on offer at a generous 6/1. After all, he would seem to be the most likely winner based purely on the laws of probability, although his lily-livered behavior thus far suggests that he might not have been man enough for the task.
Other runners include Anna's bodyguard and the most hilarious candidate of all Prince Frédéric von Anhalt, who is currently married to nonagenarian Zsa Zsa Gabor, but who carried on a discreet affair with Smith.
Anna Nicole reminds us of timeshare, and what an unsatisfactory concept it usually turns out to be. All we can say about the clown Prince is that when it comes to the ladies he can really pick'em.
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